


Don't Give Up On Me

by quicksilverdeancas (quicksilvermalec)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Angels, Alternate Universe - No supernatural, EIGHT. THOUSAND. FUCKING. WORDS., Everyone (Supernatural) Has Self-Worth Issues, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate myself, I want to throw myself out a window, I wrote something long for once, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, M/M, OH BY THE WAY, Slow Burn, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000, enjoy, fuck my actual life, fucking fight me, it's high school people!, people exploring their sexualities, this needs so many more tags, this took two weeks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quicksilvermalec/pseuds/quicksilverdeancas
Summary: In which Lucifer stalks and is still in love with his boyfriend from middle school, Gabriel pines madly after the cute boy with the long hair from his physics class, and Sam exasperatedly tries to set Dean up with Cas.





	Don't Give Up On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Castiel somehow ended up being Gabriel's older brother in this. Don't ask me, I don't know.
> 
> This was supposed to be no longer than 3k... it got away from me. I'm proud of it, though. It's the longest oneshot I've _EVER_ written.
> 
> For context: Sam is 17. Gabriel is 18. They are seniors in high school. Dean is 22. He did not go to college, he works in an auto shop, because no Supernatural-less AU is complete without Dean working in an auto shop. You can quote me on that. Castiel is 23. He is in college. He does drama with the high school because he's an alumnus.
> 
> On a separate note, I hate myself now.
> 
> Enjoy!

“He’s just- ugh! He’s just so _cute_!” Gabriel was complaining to his beautiful ex-girlfriend, best friend, and confidante Kali, who rolled her eyes.

“I am aware that you think he’s attractive, Gabriel,” she told him. “You’ve only mentioned it every day since December of freshman year.”

Gabriel groaned and let himself fall backwards so he was laying on his back on the cement, staring at the sky. “I know you think it’s annoying, but I just like him _so much _and now we have three classes together, plus lunch, and I see him every goddamn day with his adorable little smile and his gorgeous eyes and his hair that I’d totally like to pull and I am still a sad gutless fucker with no courage to actually ask him out.”

“Have you ever talked to him?” the dark-skinned girl asked. “Do you even know his name?”

Immediately and without hesitation, Gabriel answered, spouting facts off rapid-fire. “His name is Sam Winchester. He and I have AP English Lit, Calc III-IV, and Physics together. His favorite subject is World History because he loves to learn about how we got to where we are as a country. We talk a lot in science because he loves the subject but hates the teacher, meanwhile I’m not that big a fan of either. He has one older brother named Dean. His mom died when he was six months old and his dad passed a couple of years ago, but his dad’s death didn’t affect him that much because they didn’t have the best relationship and he was pretty much raised by his brother anyway. He’s trans ace-biro. He’s a huge nerd and he has a secret love for Marvel movies and Celine Dion. And he is absolutely the most fascinating creature on the fucking planet.”

Kali narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “How much of that did you learn from Lucifer?”

Gabriel scoffed offendedly. “Kali, Luci doesn’t even talk to me anymore. I haven’t spoken to any of my siblings in almost three months. Except Castiel. I saw him two hours ago. And really, what makes you think I would go to _Lucifer_ for information on the guy I like?”

“How about the fact that he has a closet full of pictures of him? Friends him on every social media platform he can get his hands on? Follows him around like a lovesick puppy and fishes his used worksheets out of the recycling bin?”

“Exactly!” Gabriel exclaimed. “He’s creepy as all fuck and I wish he would just leave Sam alone because Sam knows, I know he does, and if he’s any kind of a normal human being then it makes him hella uncomfortable.”

Kali sighed. “Okay, whatever.” She stood up and grabbed her bag. “Look, I have rehearsal in five minutes. Do you want to come watch?”

He made a thinking face, then shrugged. “Sure. Cassie’s going to be there, right?”

She nodded. “He’s scheduled to be, at least. If he’s not, we’re kind of screwed because this entire rehearsal is just blocking his three scenes.”

Gabriel smirked as he followed her towards the Performing Arts Center. “Well it’ll be nice to see my big brother in action. It’s been a while since I got to watch a drama rehearsal.”

“Hey, Gabe,” called a voice from behind him, and he stopped cold, his smile freezing on his face for just a second before it reappeared, slightly more forced and fake-looking.

“Go on ahead, Kali, I’ll catch up,” he yelled after her, and she nodded, looking slightly concerned, before turning to keep trekking up the hill. Gabriel steeled himself and turned around.

“Hey there Samsquatch! What can I do you for?”

He bit back the remark he wanted to make – _I’d do you for free_ – and waited for Sam’s answer.

“Well, I… uh… I was hoping you could help me with something kind of… personal.”

Gabriel took a deep breath. “Yeah?”

“There’s this guy who’s kind of an asshole, and like, I dated him in the seventh grade but then I broke up with him and now he’s sort of, I don’t know. Obsessed with me? And he’s been acting really creepy and sending me these menacing texts and DMs from various social media platforms and I don’t really feel that… safe…” he trailed off a little bit.

“Goddamn you, Lucifer,” Gabriel muttered. Sam looked startled.

“You know him?”

Gabriel swore under his breath. “Yeah, I guess you could say that. How do you want me to help, though?”

“Uh, well, my brother doesn’t know about Luke and his weirdness and I’m just afraid that if I tell him he’ll make it into a way bigger deal than it needs to be cause he’s weirdly protective and I don’t feel like going home right now, so could I stay with you? Just hang out and maybe… stay at your place tonight?”

Gabriel reeled a little. “Why me?” he blurted when he regained the use of his cognitive functions. “Why not any of your many, many other friends who you know better?”

Sam looked down. “Well, I mean, Jess has a crush on me and if I stay at her place she’ll probably expect sex. I’m not allowed at Ruby’s house. Garth’s parents hate me for some reason. And Cas… Cas is busy with rehearsal. I haven’t seen him since first period and I didn’t get a chance to ask him then, so. Plus, I trust you, and I like you, and I just thought maybe you trusted and liked me too, but I totally get it if you’d rather… not…”

Jesus, this kid and his ellipses.

And he _liked him!_ Gabriel was totally going to fangirl extensively over that later. He just outright admitted that he liked him. And even though he meant it entirely platonically (unlike the way that Gabriel liked Sam) it was still something, and since he knew he had absolutely no chance with this adorable bumbling Bigfoot, well. Gabriel would take all the ‘something’ he could get.

He took another deep breath and Sam watched him expectantly. “Of course,” he said at last. “Just give me a minute.” He pulled out his phone and shot off a text to Kali, and an identical one to Castiel, despite knowing that neither of them a) got service in the PAC and b) had their phones on them during rehearsal.

_Something came up. I’m not going to make it. See you later._

As he shouldered his bag a little higher, he told Sam, “I’ll buy you Starbucks if you want.” Sam made a face and Gabriel looked at him, shocked. “Wait a minute. Do you – do you _not like _Starbucks?”

Sam made an obvious effort to backtrack. “No, I just- I hate the place on principle. I don’t think anyone could drink actual coffee from Starbucks and not like it. Except maybe those weird-ass rainbow Frappuccinos they kept coming up with, those were gross.”

Gabriel nodded his agreement. “Okay. I understand. Major corporations, monopolies, cornering the market, high success, I understand. But you don’t hate Starbucks legitimately? It’s just that?”

Sam smiled in a way that looked like he really didn’t want to but couldn’t help it and holy shit. Gabriel’s heart had a boner.

“Nah, I don’t hate Starbucks products, just the way that it exists in relation to the rest of the world.”

Gabriel absolutely fucking _hated _how in love he was with this man.

“Well good, cause we’re here.” He pointed up at the big green sign over the door, and Sam gazed up at it for a long moment before he pushed open the glass front door leading into the room, making a bell jingle.

Sam ordered a venti caramel crunch Frappuccino (Gabriel goggled at him when he said his choice of size and he flushed and murmured something about how if he was going to support _fucking Starbucks_ he might as well get his money’s worth) and Gabriel ordered a grande flat white. They sat down at a table and waited for the cashier to call “Gabriel”.

“So, talking of staying over at my house,” Gabriel began slowly, and Sam’s attention snapped to him. He opened his mouth to say something, but Gabriel wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise. “I’m not about to tell you that you can’t, just that you might not want to.”

“W-why not?” Sam stuttered, looking completely lost.

Gabriel took a deep breath. “I still live at home. As in, with my family, which includes my siblings, as high schoolers are wont to do. And that might be a problem for you because, well. Lucifer is my older brother.” It was silent for a moment. “I wasn’t sure how comfortable you would be sleeping in the same house as he.”

Sam hung his head, staring at the table he was tracing invisible lines on with one errant finger. There was a very long pause.

“I’m sorry,” he said after a long minute before reaching for his bag in the seat next to him. “I guess I should just-”

“No!” Gabriel shouted, and Sam froze before looking at him questioningly. Gabriel felt his face heat up. “I just… I don’t want you to leave. I want to keep hanging out with you. I just didn’t think that you’d want to stay where I live. If you want, though, I’ll come back to your place. Trust me, I can protect you from Lucifer if he comes knocking. Besides, I had no idea it had gotten this bad. I’ve told him to leave you alone before but he doesn’t listen to me and I didn’t realize how uncomfortable he was making you. Tomorrow I’m going to fuck him up unless he agrees to stop.”

Sam dropped heavily back into the booth, staring at Gabriel with an expression that was absolutely the most beautiful combination of touched, genuinely surprised, and a little bit happy.

“You’d do that for me?” he whispered.

_I’d do anything for you, Samoose._

“Of course. You’re my friend, right?” Gabriel replied. If he wasn’t mistaken, Sam’s shoulders slumped just a little bit.

“Uh… yeah,” Sam murmured. “Definitely your friend.” Abruptly, he stood up again, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and strolled out of the Starbucks. He was halfway down the block by the time Gabriel gathered himself enough to move from his seat to follow.

Why did he ever agree to this? This was going to be a long night.

#~+~#

Gabriel led Sam around for a while, talking his ear off about absolutely nothing just to distract him. Sam still wasn’t quite sure what had prompted him to come to Gabriel, but he was glad he had, because it was really working.

They discussed everything from their Calculus homework (a discussion which eventually led to them stopping in another internet café to finish it together) to music and their favorite artists (a discussion that led to a friendly debate about the merits of Fall Out Boy versus Panic! At the Disco).

((Gabriel was advocating for FOB while Sam was firmly on Panic!’s side.))

By five pm, they were heading back to the little two-bedroom Sam rented with his brother on whatever money he could make around his school schedule (Dean, meanwhile, handling about two-thirds of the rent off of his weekly pay from the full-time job he worked). Sam unlocked the door to let them in, not missing the Impala parked in front.

“Hey, Dean,” he called as he flipped on the lights.

“Wassup, Sammy?” Dean shouted back from the kitchen. “Why you so late?” He poked his head out and caught sight of their blond guest. “And who’s that?”

“This is Gabriel,” Sam replied. “He’s going to stay with us tonight.”

Dean made a face that wasn’t disapproving but just a little confused. “There a reason?”

Sam opened his mouth but Gabriel cut him off. “My dad isn’t around and when dad’s not around big brother Mikey and big brother Luke start to fight and everyone else gets hurt. I was a little afraid for my own ass, so I asked Sammo here if I could borrow his couch. I hope that’s okay?”

Dean nodded. “Sure. Just don’t make a mess and don’t snore too loud and we’ll get along great.”

Gabriel shot a grateful smirk at the older Winchester and then glanced at Sam. Sam wasn’t looking at his brother, though; he was staring right at the blond.

_Thank you_, he mouthed. Gabriel shrugged.

_It’s true_, he mouthed back, and Sam gave him a slightly concerned look, which he waved off. “Don’t worry about it,” he murmured.

“So what’s for food?” Sam asked, following his older brother into the kitchen. Dean shrugged.

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go buy us some takeout?”

Sam stuck out his tongue, relaxing into the familiarity of this back-and-forth he and Dean always had. This was home, and this was safe, and this was where Lucifer was not. He had two people here to protect him from assholes like his stalker of an ex.

“Gabe, you wanna come with me? We’re going to leave the house and buy my brother food because we’re awesome, and in return he’s not going to complain about getting teriyaki.”

Gabriel nodded. “Hell yeah! Past couple of hours with you have been the most fun I’ve had in weeks. Let’s go!”

Sam turned to look at his brother. “Keys, jerk?” he prompted.

Dean already had them in his fist, which he was holding up in a ready position. “Be careful with that car, bitch. Not a scratch.”

Gabriel was looking between them with an amused expression and Sam winked at him for good measure as he caught the jingling ring. “Wouldn’t dream of it. See you in twenty.”

Sam jogged out the front door, laughing to himself as he slid into the driver’s seat, closely followed by Gabriel joining him in the passenger seat. As he dropped himself onto the leather, he was smiling, and seeing that expression on his face made Sam smile, too.

“So,” Sam began. “Teriyaki?”

Gabriel looked over at him. “That sounds like the best possible meal I could have right now.”

It was only a two-minute drive to Sam’s favorite little teriyaki place just down the street, but they talked through the whole thing anyway. In those two minutes, Sam found out that Gabriel was, like him, a slut for pork teriyaki and equally a slut for pot stickers. If Sam hadn’t been crushing on this guy for two years, he would’ve started right then.

They got two orders of pork teriyaki, two orders of post stickers, an order of yakisoba noodles to split, and chicken teriyaki for Dean, because he can suck it.

On the way back, Sam mentioned the Captain America franchise and Gabriel’s immediate response was, “that fucker just needs to suck it up and sleep with Bucky already.”

Sam was silent for a long moment until he blurted out, “marry me.”

Gabriel started to laugh, falling forward in his seat and bracing himself against the dashboard. In response, Sam started laughing too, and they laughed all the way back to the house, barely making it inside before they collapsed onto the couch in a tangle of limbs and could barely remember why they were laughing in the first place.

Sam managed to get the food onto the coffee table and then kept laughing on the couch with Gabriel until he couldn’t breathe. Dean stood in the doorway leading into the kitchen, watching them with an air of superiority.

“Are you done?” he asked once they paused for breath. Sam and Gabriel looked at each other and Sam snorted and Gabriel looked away. Sam inhaled deeply.

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re good. Here.” He threw Dean’s plastic takeout box of chicken teriyaki at him and grabbed the other five Styrofoam boxes, opening them to determine what was inside each one. Dean caught his food, looking offended, and walked away to eat it in the kitchen in silence.

Halfway through the meal, his voice floated back to them. “Hey, Sammy, Cas is going to come over in a few minutes.”

Sam pulled his favorite and best bitchface: bitchface #92, aka ‘Oh, Cas Is Coming Over, Isn’t That A Shocker and Why Won’t You Just Sleep with Him Already?’

“Don’t make that face, Sammy, I know you love Cas and you love having him over, you’re just being a little bitch,” Dean added from the kitchen.

“Right, but he comes over here and spends the evening with you _every single day_. At this point I think you should only tell me when he’s _not _coming over!”

Just then, the front door opened. Sam made an exasperated sound and glared at Dean, who had just come into the living room. “He has keys now?!?!?!? Seriously, just give him your Letterman jacket you emotionally constipated jerk!”

Cas looked highly confused and Dean looked embarrassed, avoiding his eyes. “Hey, Cassie,” called Gabriel from the couch, looking up for just a moment before tucking back into his pork.

“Hello, Gabriel. Did Sam finally ask you out?”

Gabriel started to cough up his food and Sam hid his face. “No, no, no he did not, why don’t you shut up?” Gabriel suggested.

Cas looked at him discerningly, then shrugged. “What are we doing tonight, Dean?” he asked. Dean hip-checked Sam, who obediently scooted closer to Gabriel on the couch to make room for his brother to sit down. Dean gestured to the seat right next to him for Cas to sit down.

“I was thinking we’d watch_ Game of Thrones_. I’m in the middle of season four. You into it?”

Cas shrugged as he settled in. “Whatever you want to do,” he murmured, and Sam rolled his eyes before looking at Gabriel and fake-gagging.

They ended up marathoning the show, watching six episodes all four of them before Gabriel declared that he was extremely tired and kicked them all off the couch. Just like every night before that for the last five years, Dean invited Cas to stay over. Cas looked at his brother sprawled dramatically across the couch, then back at his best friend.

“I won’t have anywhere to sleep.”

And that was when Sam Winchester witnessed the first real miracle of the New World. Dean blushed, looked at his shoes, and murmured, “you could share my bed.”

Sam, being the little-shit younger brother that he was, then clapped them each on a shoulder and said, “do whatever you want, but please, don’t be too loud. Gabe and I are going to actually be sleeping.”

Dean’s cheeks went even redder and Cas looked only slightly confused. But the shorter man agreed and they disappeared into Dean’s bedroom.

Sam looked back at Gabriel, who was smirking up at him, and rolled his eyes before throwing their softest spare blanket at his face, closely followed by a huge pillow.

“Get comfortable, asshole,” he muttered, smiling.

He got a glass of water and as he was walking back to his bedroom, he glanced at the blond again and sighed quietly.

Oh, he was so fucked.

#~+~#

Dean didn’t know how the hell he’d gotten himself into this situation.

He was hating every goddamn second of it.

Cas was so close to him that he could feel him radiating warmth like a space heater. All he wanted to do was flip around and bury himself in that warmth, wrap himself in Cas and hold him and never let go.

How screwed was he?

#~+~#

Castiel was absolutely, royally, majorly fucked.

#~+~#

Lucifer cornered Sam the next day after his second class. Gabriel was with him – they were talking on their way out of Calc – and Sam was about to tell him off, but Gabe beat him to it.

“Look, Luci,” the blond said as soon as Lucifer opened his mouth. “You’re my brother, and I love you. But you need to stop being such a great big bag of_ dicks_! You’re creepy as all fuck and you’re making Sam extremely uncomfortable, and it has to stop. It just has to. I won’t stand for it anymore. Leave him alone.”

Lucifer didn’t even say anything. He just stared down his younger brother with a stubborn set to his jaw for a solid minute, but when Gabriel didn’t blink, move, or back down, his lip quivered and he sighed and walked away.

Once he was gone, Sam turned to Gabriel. “Holy shit, I think he’s gone for good! I think you got through to him, dude that was amazing!” he gushed. He leaned down and kissed Gabriel’s cheek. “Thank you so much,” he murmured before power-walking down the hall to his next class.

Gabriel was still standing there, in the middle of the hallway, right between rooms 406 and 407, when the tardy bell for third period rang.

#~+~#

“Dean?” called an unexpected voice from behind him. If he hadn’t had years of practice and training, Dean would’ve banged his forehead on the car above him. He took a deep breath and slid out.

“Hey, Cas,” he greeted his best friend, standing in front of him awkwardly, still holding his bookbag. “What’s up? Why are you here?” At the look on his face, Dean added, “is something wrong?”

Cas sighed and dropped his bag. “No,” he began, then, “yes.” There was a long pause before he admitted, “I actually don’t know how I feel.”

Dean led him into the house. “That’s fair. Coffee?” Castiel declined, so he only made one cup. “What happened?”

“When I got home, Luke was there – which is rare under normal circumstances, but even rarer in the middle of the school day – and Michael was yelling at him. Something about harassment and intimidation and stalking one Sam Winchester… you wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?” Dean shook his head, feeling a little shocked. “Well Michael was yelling at him because apparently he’d been following Sam around and my brother Gabriel reported him to the administration. They called Michael and made him come take Lucifer home. Luke decided he’d had enough of being yelled at by our oldest brother and, well… he’s moving out in the morning.”

“And you don’t know how you feel about that,” Dean recalled. Cas nodded.

“Exactly. On the one hand, Lucifer’s always been somewhat of an I believe the term is ‘loose cannon’? He’s wild and radical and rather hotheaded and he has a tendency to blow up, and he’s often a little terrifying to be around. But on the other hand, he’s my brother, and I love him, and I want to have a relationship with him.” He sighed and flopped down into a chair. “Being an adult is hard and stupid,” he complained. “I want to go back to high school.”

Dean smirked at that and took a long sip of his coffee. _He’s so cute_, he thought idly. _I love him so much._

Woah, woah, woah.

_LOVE?!?!_

Nobody said anything about love. Dean loved two things, and those were his brother and his car. Dean did not love his friends, and he did not love Cas. He liked Cas, sure. Cas was his best friend. Love… not so much.

He brushed off the tiny figurative Sam on his shoulder that told him that he was stupid, emotionally repressed, and lying.

He sat down in the chair next to his trench coated friend. “So what do you want to do, buddy? How can I help out?”

Cas made a thinking face for a second, then said, “let’s play Sorry.”

Four games later (all of which Dean lost, consecutively, because Cas was a cheating cheater who cheats for a living) the front door’s lock jiggled and made the distinctive sound of someone sticking a key into it. Dean smirked at his friend and stood up to open the door for his stupid little brother whom he knew had like 800 books in his hands and not enough room to actually unlock the front door.

Sam stumbled across the threshold, took one look at the dining room table where Sorry was spread out, heaved a heavy sigh, and beelined for his room. Dean looked from his brother’s bedroom door to his best friend to the board game and back. Cas gave him a sympathetic and understanding look, so he jogged over to Sam’s door and knocked on it.

“I’m fine, Dean,” came his muffled voice from inside. Dean knocked again, more insistently.

“No, you’re not, Sammy,” he told the younger sharply. “Let me in.”

The door swung open and there he was, in all his Gigantor glory – just over six feet of long limbs and shaggy hair and holy mother of crap those puffy red eyes. “I’m _fine_, Dean,” Sam repeated exasperatedly.

“Sammy, you’re crying, you’re not okay-”

“Well neither are you but it’s not like we talk about it!” Sam shouted. Dean glanced over his shoulder at where Cas had been sitting but he wasn’t there. He turned back to Sam and exhaled quietly.

“Goddammit, let me in the room.”

“Dean.” That wasn’t Sam’s voice. Dean turned around and there was Cas, standing right up in his personal space like he belonged there, like he wasn’t stealing Dean’s air and making Dean want to kiss him out of spite. “Let me handle this.”

Dean stared at him for a second, then sighed again and stepped out of the way. Surprisingly, Sam did the same, allowing Cas to enter his room and shutting the door behind him.

Dean cleaned up the game and made himself another cup of coffee, as well as one for Sam, and by the time he was done, Cas had come out. “He’s fine,” he told him. “He just needs a minute. Sometimes he just wants to be left alone. That’s how he copes – that’s how _you _taught him to cope.”

Dean ducked his head. “Yeah, I know. I’m not proud of it, but it’s all I know. Our dad wasn’t exactly the greatest guy on earth.”

Can put a hand on his shoulder. “He forgives you,” he told him quietly. Dean looked up and caught his eye.

“That’s the problem,” he choked out. “I’m not sure I can forgive myself.”

#~+~#

It was pitch-dark in Sam’s room – he hadn’t even turned on the light. But the room brightened considerably when his phone lit up and started to buzz its way toward the edge of his desk. Sam ignored it for a moment before sighing, scrubbing his hands down his face, and swinging his legs off his bed to grab it.

_Gabriel Novak_, read the CALL FROM screen. He let out a breath and tapped ‘answer’.

“Hey,” he said gruffly.

“Hey there, Sambo,” came the tinny approximation of Gabriel’s voice from his speaker. “What’s up, you okay?”

Sam didn’t answer right away. “Uh… yeah, yeah I’m okay,” he replied unconvincingly, even to himself.

“You know what, Moosekavitch, don’t let Luci get to you. He’s a great big bag of dicks, that’s what I’ve always said, and he doesn’t get to do that kind of shit to you. He’s been suitably punished by our big brother-slash-father, anyway.”

Sam hung his head to hide his smile, even though the room was dark and there was no one around to see it even if it wasn’t. “I know. It’s just weird.”

“Why’s it weird?”

“I just… I guess it’s just like, I liked this guy in the _seventh grade_, and then I realized I wasn’t that into him, and now I’m a senior in high school, he’s still following me around, and I want to date his brother! How is that _not _weird?”

It took his brain about ten seconds to catch up to his mouth and realize what he’d said, by which time the phone in his hand had already gone dead.

“What the hell, Gabe?” he muttered before flopping onto his bed and burying in his face in the pillow. It wasn’t like he didn’t already know Gabriel didn’t like him, but he didn’t need to be like… well, like _this _about it. Couldn’t they just both ignore the fact that Sam was somewhat hopelessly in love with Gabriel and stay friends until his feelings went away and he found somebody else?

Apparently not.

He stayed there for about fifteen minutes before going out to finally talk to Dean and Cas. As he opened his bedroom door, they both looked up in an identical motion. It wasn’t huge, but it was enough to bring a smile to Sam’s face, considering how much it seemed to be indulging his inner shipper. He chuckled a little as he walked wordlessly over to the dining room table to hug his brother.

Dean hugged him back enthusiastically, as if he were trying to put all his love and support into the hug since he’d probably never be able to put it into words.

Sam smiled gratefully at him. “I love you, man,” he muttered before trotting off into the kitchen to figure out something to eat.

Dean stared at him as he walked away, looking intrigued.

It didn’t take Sam very long to notice that something was up. Dean and Cas were barely making eye contact, and they’d been barely making eye contact all day. That was pretty damn unusual for them, considering the frequency of their long, loving, eye-sex-like stare-offs.

Cas decided he needed to pick up Gabriel from the Candy Club meeting (yes. They had a Candy Club at their high school. Sam was 90% sure that Gabriel had started it, but he had no proof, and Gabriel refused to admit to it, so it remained a mystery.) so he left rather abruptly and Sam and Dean were at home on their own. Sam figured it was as good a chance as any to bring it up with his brother.

“Dude, what happened last night?” he asked. Dean glanced up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I _mean_,” Sam elaborated, “what happened last night… with Cas?” Dean turned bright red; Sam pretended not to notice and continued his sentence. “Cause something definitely did. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you aren’t making eye contact.”

Dean stared intently at the table. “It’s not a big deal,” he muttered. Sam shook his head.

“That’s what you say whenever it’s the biggest deal you could possibly imagine and you don’t want to admit it to me, so _spill_.”

Dean sighed. “Fine. Last night, we were sharing the bed, right, and he kind of… cuddled me? In his sleep? And I woke up and we were just both kind of cuddling, and it was super embarrassing. And that’s it.”

Sam exhaled softly and put his forehead gently onto the counter. “Duuuuuuuude,” he complained, drawing out the vowel. “You’re an absolute idiot.”

Dean gave him a look that was equal parts offended and confused. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re being an idiot because you’re fucking in love with Cas and Cas is fucking in love with you and neither of you are able to pull your heads far enough out of your asses – or in your case, out of the closet – to realize that _we all know and nobody gives a fuck_!”

Dean looked back at the table. “Cas isn’t in love with me,” he mumbled.

“What’s that?” Sam asked.

“Cas isn’t in love with me,” Dean repeated more clearly. “He’s not. He doesn’t feel that way about- about anyone.”

Sam stared at him. “Hmm?”

“Cas is aromantic,” Dean confessed. Sam’s eyes were wide as saucers.

“No. Nope. Incorrect. Blocked. I know that Cas is in love with you,” the younger Winchester insisted, leaning forward on the heels of his hands in the patented Power Move™, “because I have seen the way he looks at you when you’re not looking back. I have seen the way he treats you like you’re the center of his universe, like you’re the only thing on this planet worth looking at. And I’ve seen the look in his eyes, the worship, the devotion, and I’m telling you, Dean, it’s the exact same look you wear when you look at him. You’re both wrong about each other, and you’re missing out on what might be the last relationship you ever need to have because you won’t fucking talk to him.”

Dean stared up at him with hopelessness written more plainly on his face than Sam had ever seen anything except his love for Cas. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Sammy,” he whispered. “He’s never going to love me.”

#~+~#

“Are you alright, Gabriel?” was the first thing that Cas said to his younger brother when he slid into the shotgun seat of the car. Gabriel sighed.

“No,” he said bluntly.

There was silence for a moment before Castiel opened his mouth again and before he could say anything, Gabriel said, “yes, I do want to talk about it.”

Cas closed his mouth and started the car.

“It’s Sam,” he began. Cas started.

“What about Sam?” he inquired cautiously.

“I’m so in love with him, Cas,” Gabriel almost sobbed, leaning forward in his seat. “I love him so much and he- he wants… he wants _you_.”

That was the last answer Castiel had been expecting. “He- Sam wants to date _me_?”

Gabriel nodded. “He told me, on the phone. He was talking about Lucifer and why it’s awkward, and he specifically said ‘I dated him in the seventh grade and now I’m over him and I want to date his brother’. AKA, you.”

Castiel laughed. “You’re reading that entirely wrong, brother. He wasn’t talking about me. I don’t know if you’re aware, but Lucifer has other brothers. Some that are a little closer to Sam’s age, perhaps?”

Gabriel sighed. “I think you’re wrong, Castiel.” And that was how Cas knew he was serious – he rarely called him Castiel, ever since Dean had given him the nickname Cas, Gabriel had rolled with it. “He wouldn’t want me. I’m short, and pudgy, and not funny, and not smooth, and so severely _average_ in every way. And Sam is kind, and sweet, and popular, and likeable, and pretty – god, _gorgeous _– and there’s no way he would ever fall for somebody like me. He deserves a movie star, or a supermodel, someone just as tall and unfathomably gorgeous as he is. And probably female, too. He told me he’s always preferred women.”

“It sounds to me, Gabriel, as though you are just coming up with reasons why he shouldn’t like you, just because you can’t accept that he _does_ like you. What’s so scary about that? What’s so terrifying about having a beautiful boy love you back?”

“I might ask you the same thing, Cas,” Gabriel replied bitterly. “You haven’t exactly confessed your undying feelings to Dean Winchester yet, either. You’re just as terrified as I am, so don’t give me that junior-year-college big-brother alumnus crap.”

Castiel didn’t respond, and they were silent for the rest of the trip.

#~+~#

When Cas came back, he was alone. He had apparently dropped Gabriel off at home and come back over to the Winchesters’ house. Sam wasn’t super happy with that, but it was what had happened, so he wasn’t going to argue.

Almost as soon as he’d finished explaining this to the Winchesters, Cas got a look on his face like he didn’t know what he was doing here. Dean noticed, Sam was sure of it.

“Hey, Cas, you okay?”

“Hmm? Oh, of course,” the dark-haired boy replied absently. Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Uh-huh,” he muttered, sounding unconvinced.

“Okay, I need to run to the store because you used the last of the eggs and now we don’t have any for omelets in the morning, plus we need milk and bacon and I promise I’ll buy you some pie, Dean. Bye!” Sam shouted in one breath as he edged toward the garage door. He snatched the keys to the Impala out of Dean’s hand and sprinted to the car before Dean had a chance to follow.

He sat in the driver’s seat and breathed heavily for thirty seconds or so before starting the car and making his way to the nearest Fred Meyer.

He just hoped Cas and Dean were motivated to actually talk.

#~+~#

Dean’s brother was a cruel and inefficient disaster of a human being.

#~+~#

When he returned, it was to find his brother and his best friend sitting on the living room floor playing Speed. As he watched, Dean played his last card and threw his hands up in victory before taking all the cards and dealing out a game of War.

What the hell was his life?

#~+~#

Gabriel avoided him for three days. Then on Tuesday, they were partnered up in Physics for a lab and Sam took the opportunity to force the blond to talk to him.

“I just don’t know why you’re been acting like I don’t exist!” Sam complained.

“Could you hand me the instructions sheet?” Gabriel replied politely, not looking at Sam’s face. Sam almost threw the laminated sheet of paper at him.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“I need a pencil.”

Sam pulled one out of his pencil pouch.

“If you could just explain what’s going on-”

“I’m in love with you!” Gabriel exclaimed, sounding extremely strained and barely managing to keep his voice at a reasonable volume for the classroom environment. Their lab station was silent for about five seconds, and when he spoke again, his voice was a choked sob. “I’m in love with you,” he repeated, “and you told me, on fucking Friday, that you want my brother Castiel who is way too old for you. And I’m fucking in love with you Sam, and I’ve been in love with you since freshman year and you’re too much of an oblivious idiot to pick up on it.” He didn’t even sound angry anymore, just resigned and depressed.

Sam stared at him.

And stared at him.

And stared at him.

And just when neither of them thought he was going to acknowledge Gabriel’s outburst, he leaned forward across the counter that was just a little too wide for comfort and kissed him.

They were both reported to the principal for PDA.

#~+~#

“_Really_, Sammy?”

Sam didn’t look at his brother, just stared at the hands that were folded in his lap feeling embarrassed and abashed but also smiling just a little bit.

“Yeah,” he admitted.

Dean rolled his eyes and pulled out of the parking lot. “I get a call, at goddamn 11:15 am, saying that my baby brother is being _suspended_ from school for PDA, backtalk, and even physical violence. What am I supposed to say, Sam?”

“I wasn’t violent!” Sam protested. “They grabbed me, pinned my arms to my sides and tried to manhandle me to the principal’s office! I am almost eighteen years old, I can walk down a hallway without needing to be fucking policed! So I wrestled out of their grip, that’s not violence!”

Dean made an exasperated sound halfway between a snort and a scoff. “But PDA though? Who were you making out with in the middle of science?”

Sam mumbled something Dean couldn’t quite understand.

“Sorry Sammy, I didn’t catch that, can you repeat?” he asked impatiently.

“Gabriel, alright? I was kissing Gabriel!”

Dean actually snorted then. “Gabriel like Cas’ brother Gabriel? Like the guy you brought home the other day because he was afraid of his family Gabriel?”

Sam nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, him.”

The Impala was devastatingly silent for a long moment, and then Dean asked, “was it a good kiss? Like, are those Novak boys good kissers?” and Sam laughed a little disparagingly and knew he was forgiven.

Even though he was going to have to take the next three days off of school.

“No, Dean. It was our first and there was a lab station between us. It was an absolutely terrible kiss.”

And then Dean was laughing with him, and at least they weren’t yelling anymore.

#~+~#

Dean didn’t let Sam leave the house for the entirety of his suspension, which meant he didn’t get to see Gabriel for five days.

(He called him every day without fail. Sam confessed to also having been pining after him since the end of freshman year. [That was when he really started to notice him; before that he’d been a little obsessed with Madison, who moved to Washington the summer after.] They defined the relationship. Sam complained about his brother and Gabriel complained about his brothers. On top of which, Cas would visit and tell Sam things Gabriel said and Sam would tell him things to tell Gabriel, which led to Dean complaining it was like they were ninth-graders passing notes in class.)

The following Monday, every single one of his teachers, without fail, took him aside at some point during class to tell him that they were extremely disappointed in him and they never would have expected this kind of behavior.

It didn’t escape his notice that they didn’t do the same for Gabriel. It bothered him just a little bit that they “would never have expected this” from him, but they didn’t bat an eyelash at his boyfriend doing it.

His boyfriend. Wasn’t that a thrill to say – think.

And say. And boy, did he say it a lot. Mostly to himself, just to hear it, but whenever he got the chance he’d say it out loud to anyone who asked and especially to Gabriel, because Gabriel seemed to love to hear it.

It was weird, because he’d had several girlfriends, but only one boyfriend before Gabriel, and never a boyfriend that he liked – _loved _– this much. He had never been in love with Lucifer. He had just known him in seventh grade and been experimenting with sexuality at the time. Lucifer, on the other hand, claimed to be in love with him, but Sam suspected it was much more about the fact that Luke had always had such absolute power over Sam while they were dating because Sam hadn’t ever really realized he had rights in a relationship, and nobody else would let him have that kind of power.

So Sam was pretty happy with everything in his life right now, excepting the slight tarnish on his otherwise shiny-spotless reputation for being an amazing student who never got in trouble… and one other thing.

Sam wasn’t exactly chipper about his brother’s non-relationship with his boyfriend’s brother. They were both madly pining and Sam wanted it to be over.

In other words, _he just wanted them to bone it out already *drawn-out throaty groaning noise*_.

Six weeks after his talk with Dean and almost five after his suspension, they still hadn’t done anything and Dean had never done anything to instigate a conversation, and Sam was _sick. and. tired. of. it._ So he hatched a little plan.

(Basically, the plan was talk to Cas.)

Gabriel helped him out with some of it. Gabriel was the one who ‘innocently’ invited Sam over for dinner and then coincidentally had to go out to… get gas, apparently, because that was the only excuse he could come up with?

Mike was out working late, Luke was completely moved out by this point, and the other siblings were off in their respective rooms probably doing their respective homework.

Sam and Cas were left alone in the living room, which was exactly what Sam wanted.

He didn’t know how to casually and/or subtly segue into this conversation, so he just started it outright. “Cas, are you in love with my brother?” he asked bluntly.

Cas sighed and avoided his eyes. “Yes,” he replied quietly. “I am. It doesn’t matter, though, because Dean thinks that I am aromantic.”

“And you’re not, right?” Sam pressed.

“No, I am not. I thought I was at one point back in middle school when I was still trying to figure out who I was. I told Dean as much, and since then I’ve never told him otherwise. And that doesn’t matter, either, because there is no reason that Dean would feel the same way that I do. He could never love me like I love him because I am not… I am not many things. Take your pick, I suppose.”

Sam scooted a little closer to him, a gentle and sympathetic smile gracing his face. “But that’s where you’re wrong, Cas.” Cas looked at him sharply. “I know my brother. I know my brother very well – I’ve had to, because he doesn’t tell me things, that’s not how we do it in my family – and I’ve seen the way that he looks at you. Like you’re the only thing in the world that is worth loving. He’s so taken with you, you’d have to be blind not to notice it. Blind… or oblivious. Like you are.” He nudged his friend playfully. “He doesn’t have it in him to say anything to you because he feels _exactly the same way you do_. He feels like you’re amazing and he’s worthless and he doesn’t deserve you or belong with you. He feels like he drags you down just by being your friend. And yet, Castiel, he loves you so much. Give him a chance.”

#~+~#

‘Give him a chance,’ Sam had said.

Cas could do that. Cas could give his Dean Winchester, his best friend and the love of his life, at least one chance.

#~+~#

Cas didn’t call ahead. He always did that, and that more than anything was what was giving Dean the anxiety sweats. Cas had, every day for the last eight years, called Dean before he came over to his house, even if he’d just been there fifteen minutes before.

Something was up, and Dean was a little scared of what it might be.

There was a knock at his door. He groaned and stood up from his paperwork to answer it, but it opened before it could get to it. And there was his best friend, in all his blue-suited trenchcoated glory, standing in his doorway with his key ring in his hand.

Right. Cas had a key to the house. Dean had forgotten that.

Cas took a couple steps toward him, the door swinging shut behind him of its own accord, and on instinct Dean took a couple steps back.

Dean was having the anxiety sweats, so he took a deep breath and said the first nonsensical thing that popped into his head. “You didn’t call.”

“What?” Cas asked.

“You didn’t call. Every time you’ve come over here, for the past eight years, you have called me. You didn’t fucking call, Cas, what’s going on?”

“I didn’t have time,” Dean’s angel replied softly. “I needed to get here as fast as possible.”

“Where’s Sammy?” Dean asked.

“At mine, with Gabriel. They’re fine.”

“What’s going on, Cas,” Dean replied, his voice shaking a little.

Cas took a deep breath and then, extremely directly, said, “are you in love with me?”

Dean almost fell over. This was his worst fears being realized. He’d always been terrified that Cas would find out how he felt and because he didn’t feel the same way that would be the end of the best friendship Dean had ever had. He couldn’t let that happen.

He thought he’d taken steps to make sure that didn’t happen.

He had hidden his feelings away since he met Cas. He had pretended, for ten long years, since he’d realized he was in love with Cas in seventh grade, that he was the picture of heterosexual. He’d shoved his stupid bisexual ass so far in the closet that he could probably be considered the King of Narnia. And he had pretended, as long as he fucking could, not to love this stupid, amazing, beautiful man that was standing in front of him.

He couldn’t lie to Cas.

“Yeah,” he choked out.

Cas just nodded, expression still blank. “That’s what Sam said. Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah, Cas, I’m pretty damn sure,” Dean croaked.

The corners of his friend’s mouth twitched into something resembling a smile that was probably the Castiel Novak equivalent of Dean’s biggest shit-eating smirk. “Good,” he muttered before striding across to room to glue that smirk to Dean’s own mouth.

Dean grabbed at his trenchcoat until he could get his arms around his neck and bent down just that little bit that it took.

And this was the best feeling in the world. And Dean was so in love.

They broke for breath and Cas whispered, “we should go on a date.”

And Dean replied, “yeah, let’s do that.”

And then they looked at each other for a moment, and Dean continued, “but let’s keep doing this first.”

Sam stayed over at the Novak house that night. Cas stayed over at the Winchester house.

And three years later, Cas was on his knees smiling at his boyfriend, and Dean choked out the exact same four words he’d said when Cas asked him out the first time.

“Yeah, let’s do that. Let’s get married, Cas.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you don't feel like I fell off the wagon at the end there, because I sure do!
> 
> If it feels shitty, that's because it is, because I'm about as good a writer as Chuck. 
> 
> Love,  
-Sil


End file.
